Jonghyun’s death has affected, not only his family and friends, but his fans as well. It’s been roughly four days now after his death, and until now I still can’t believe it. Just thinking about one of my favorite artists unable to see another day brings tears to my eyes.
Depression is not a joke, and should not be treated as such. It is something that consumes you, something that you just want to fight against, but sometimes you’re tired of fighting it and you just let it overcome you. I may have not experienced the same extreme to what he had, but I had experienced the same pain. His death had me thinking of all the times I felt pain like what he had felt. And yes, when I had been alone, I cry myself to sleep until I’d been numb.
But in light of the darkness, in light of your weaknesses – there is still hope, even if it’s a tiny fraction that you’re clinging onto. Well done, my friend. That’s good. Because no matter how the darkness drowns you, open your eyes and see that you are not alone in fighting this. It took me a while to get back on track, running towards God instead of running away; opening up to people instead of closing off. With this, I would only like to say two things:
- Jonghyunnie, I’m sorry we weren’t there for you. You were reaching out, but we didn’t even meet halfway. You were expressing your suffering through your work, but we, your fans, didn’t even see it. Our ignorant minds only thinking of artistry. Despite your suffering, you continued to make people happy, and encouraged them to push through. Thank you for inspiring others. You have worked hard, you have done well.
- We are loved even though we are incapable of being loved. We have pushed him away a thousand times, basking in world and temporary things rather than grace and eternity. My friend, even during the darkest times of our life, Jesus is right there where you are, reaching out towards you. Don’t let the pain eat you up. Have faith; trust Him. He will guide your way and be your shining light.